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Showing posts from November, 2008

30/11 溺毙。

现在的感觉就好象无法呼吸。快淹没了。 我的心变成了一个容量,一直在装那一点一点的哀。今天,满了。满得溢出来,变成眼泪了。把我弄得快淹没了,开始呼吸困难。整个人浸在水里,摸索,希望可找到水面。。 溺毙了吗?? 可能我的悲哀无法和跟人比,因为我是渺小的,可能别人面对的要比我更沦陷。 谢谢你的伴随,让我暖了起来。

29/11 正直

原本务实的我,被现在的社会观念污染了。 我已经不再是以前的我了。。。

29/11 迷路了。。

我现在好像迷路的的小船,在无尽的大海,盲目的漂泊着。。 我知道事实的来临,我也用倒数的方式,来慢慢迎接着悲伤的到来。。 今天,带着功课的压力,些些浮躁的心情,陪了一个朋友去拿将成为属于自己的乐器。刚拿到,那一股喜悦,是无法言语的。我是旁人,都替他开心。 可是我的心灵又在作祟。很不巧的,我将失去所有,既羡慕,又嫉妒。变成我很罗嗦,说个不停。其实,我今天可以选择不去。因为,到最后,我一定是最心痛的。我还必须微笑说我没事。自找麻烦。可是看到最好的朋友终于拥有了,还是少许的快乐,因为当初对自己的承诺啊!! 所以,我还是心甘情愿。 我很想给自己希望,让自己好过些。可是反差的,如果没的话,不是让自己更down 吗? 所以都是抱着一种心灰的心情去迎接。。反而好过些 不是第一次了,所以知道要怎样去面对。。可能对自己残忍了一些,不过熬的过的。我还有我的家要努力,可能还不是时候吧?? 现在,距离期限还有一些时间,我在忙碌念书,可能不会想太多吧?没事的,我尽力的告诉自己。。

19/11

看到桌上的介绍书,又连起了我的后悔。后悔当初没选stpm.那无情的感觉又来了。。无情啊。。 我不是已经决定好了吗。为什么感觉还是那样?越来越不明白自己了。。。

1/11 tears

my tears just well out from my eye...non stop.. because of pain?? because what i had reliase just now?? i cant help with this.. i had bear it . make it stop , it just like that........

1/11 sorrow

i just receive a big new.It was really pain new from my friend. I cant blame anyone. It is not their problem.When i heard that, me just like falling down from the climbing.My heart make me so pain.Why the thing i really likes but cant belong to me??is me greed for these?i m too much?? i m really appreciate wat i have. i just relaise that they are not really mine.Really just not mine.I just happy like a noob that i can be more close with all these.I just realise that. i ask myself. y was i so stupid .why should i make myself like that?i had fall down before..y must i keep fight for nothing untill now? sometimes i really hate my fate. y everything from my side will start to futher with me.And also let me close up a while, then force to leave again. I was so stupid.Why everytime made myself like that..i m wrong wrong wrong. what wrong? wrong to close up with music.............